But… Am I Worth It? & Other B.S. We Tell Ourselves About Money

Money — the topic we avoid, the energy we fear, and the number we let define us. In this solo episode, Jojo gets real about the shame, scarcity, and self-sabotage that money stirs up. From self-worth tied to bank accounts to relationships blown up over financial insecurity, we’re digging into the emotional grip money has on our lives — and how to start releasing it.

Because spoiler alert: your net worth ≠ your self-worth.
Let’s get MESy with it — mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to follow along on social media @_insideout.podcast, rate and review. And Join the MESy Mailing List for exclusive content, insights on what is coming up and more!

Transcript

Welcome the Inside Out Podcast. I'm your host Jojo and this is where we'll navigate the mess together that is mental, emotional and spiritual. Let's get into it.


Hey everyone, let's talk money. So much shame, so much guilt, so much hiding, so much... Just the topic of money, I feel like makes everyone just go, and tense up. Whether that's from debt, whether that's from feeling like you're not making enough, maybe you're not in a place in your career where you feel like you can supply or provide or even live the life that you want to live. The topic of money is terrifying, which is why...

I want to talk about it. He he he. So I want you to ask yourself some questions. One, do you feel limited by the number in your bank account? Two, are you telling yourself when I have X, then I will do Y? Three, do you hide from your own bank account? Meaning, do you just not check it because you don't want to stress out and you don't want to worry and you don't want to look at it and you don't want to think about it? Four,

Is there a number that would make you feel secure? Okay. That's a lot of questions, right? But I think they're all very fair and also totally valid. If you find yourself thinking, well, I can't start a family until I have X in the bank, or I'm not going to get into relationship until I have my career figured out and my finances sorted because then I'm going to have to provide for him or her or them or whatever. I feel like money is such a

a overarching issue in about every area of our lives, whether that's from where we live to our relationships, to our careers, to, mean, that's just starting even health. Like we can't afford certain healthcare or doctors or surgeries or anything, but money at the end of the day, and we know this is energy. What is your relationship with abundance? What is your relationship with abundant energy? Do you feel?

scarcity mindset? Do you feel lacked? Do you feel limited? Do you feel stuck? Do you fill in the blank? Money has this oppressive energy. It makes us anxious. It makes us feel like we can't. It's always, that's too expensive or, I can't afford that or that's just fancy. Or maybe we don't want to make a lot of money because then we're going to be responsible for more. There's so many umbrella beliefs that

Jojo (02:56.621)
really keep money lacking, let's say, from our lives. Now, I don't believe this, and I definitely do not want to subscribe to it, and I have in the past, but I refuse to continue to feel like I am limited, period, which brings in the abundant mindset. Now, that's a whole topic.

But I just want to start getting comfortable with us talking about money. Now, I don't need you to like run out there and be like, this is my bank account. This is how much I make a year. This is, but stop hiding behind the shame of that. Okay. You make $200 a day. Okay. You make $200,000 a day. Okay. You make $200 million a day. And are you happy?

Are you fulfilled? Where are you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Are you in total chaos? Are you feeling like you're on top of the, like money should not be the thing, even though it is and it's so easy for people who have money to say money doesn't buy happiness, blah, blah, blah. I know, I get it. I've heard it all. I've seen it all. We know. But it really does come down to your relationship mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to money and what that looks like and how you define that. So.

because we're talking about career so much and we're talking about alignment and purpose and direction, I think it's only fair to bring in the finances aspect of it. Now there are finance podcasts out there. There are budgeting apps. There are all of the things and the tools and the ways, the investments and the this and the that, the books. Cool. That's literally not what I want to get into. I just want to get into and tap into why we feel

that money is such a drawback or a reason that we can't move other things forward in our lives. Is it because you're not making a certain amount a year that you're not doing certain things in your life? Because I promise you the money in your bank account isn't going to define the success of that relationship. I mean, unless they're chasing your money, then maybe it is. But hopefully you're in a relationship about love. We like that. Let's...

Jojo (05:23.781)
We don't, I mean, to each their own. But if you're worried about getting into a relationship because of, okay, story time. I wasn't going to share this, but now we are. Here we go. I dated a guy about, gosh, four years ago at this point who really just showered me with the gifts, the dinners, the experiences, the trips, the, all of it. And dear Lord.

I didn't feel like I deserved any of it because I couldn't do that for myself. I couldn't buy the nice things and have the nice bag and go to the fancy Michelin star restaurants and the tasting menus and take helicopter rides and fly first class. Like that wasn't something that I could do for myself. So he did it for me and I self-sabotaged the whole relationship. He just wanted to give me all of that. Maybe he had his own ego and tied up with, don't know.

That's his journey. That's not mine. My journey was the fact that I didn't feel like I deserved it. So I acted like a brat the whole relationship. That's the reality. No, that's part of the reality, but I just didn't feel like I was worth it because my number in my bank account didn't speak to, she deserves a YSL back.

she deserves to go here. fill in the blank. she deserves a shopping spree at Bergdorf Goodman. Bergdorf? that, why does that sound so wrong coming out of my mouth? she deserves caviar on her birth. Like this shit did not land for me because I was so concerned with, well, I don't make this kind of money. And he would be like, let's go on vacation. Let's go here. And I'd be like, I need to work. And he'd be like, I'll pay your rent. And I'm like, well, that's so nice and everything. I.

Probably like I probably was living out a lot of girls dreams in certain ways because I wasn't making the money that I thought I should be making or wanted to be making I didn't believe that I deserved to be loved therefore Blew up the relationship now Learn from me don't do that. But also if that's you to some extent of like there's a really great guy or there's a really great girl

Jojo (07:50.417)
but I don't feel like I'm financially in a place where I, so what, who cares? mean, genuinely, if that's the right person for you, don't worry about the zeros behind your yearly salary. I'm sorry, but the right person doesn't give a shit about that. And now there's shame with debt. Oh, I have this amount of hiking debt or credit cards or student loans or okay. So are you going to hide behind that forever? Or are you going to be proactive and get on top of it? And maybe if you are in a relationship.

Tell that person, be like, hey, this is an insecurity of mine. Let's talk about it. I want you to see all of it. I have $45,000 in credit card debt. I'm not talking about myself, by the way. I'm just putting an example out there. Can you imagine? just, hi, inside out, this is my debt. no, I'm not gonna do that to you guys. That would be very uncomfortable. And I'm not asking you to go.

do this back. I'm just saying maybe there's a way that we take the power away from money and the hold that has on us. And maybe that's just saying, even if it's not telling the person the exact number, but saying, hey, this is what I'm dealing with right now. It's making me a little insecure, blah, blah, blah. This is what it is. The right person isn't going to hold that against you. They're not going to run away from that. They're going to be like, great, I'm seeing your flaws. I'm seeing your weaknesses and I want to

be on this journey with you and you're gonna figure it out on your own. I don't need to like figure it out for you, but it's just so that you don't blow it up like I did because I didn't have that conversation. I didn't say, hi, I feel insecure because I can't do this for myself. So that's why I'm gonna be totally self-sabotaging for the rest of time in this relationship. Sorry, it's not funny, but looking back, it's actually hilarious how badly I acted.

I really hope he never hears this podcast. I don't know why he would, but this would be pretty funny. anyway, like just for context, after that relationship, I went and bought myself a very expensive bag to prove to myself that I could do it without someone else needing to do it for me, which is a whole nother topic, but that's how big of a grip the whole money thing had on me. It was.

Jojo (10:17.571)
more or less consuming my life. Now, I understand we need money. The world revolves around, and that's an energy that is not going away. But the way we relate to it definitely needs to shift so that we can have less chaos around it and stop upending potentially very good relationships. And I'm not saying, I'm not talking about my past situation, because that had its own other, whole other thing going on. But anyway, so let's get messy with it.

mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Mentally. The mental money game. Are you limiting yourself or defining your worth based on how much you make, the amount on your bank account, et cetera? Emotionally. Are there places in your life that you are sabotaging or creating a mess with, even if it's just having a fight with your wife?

because of finances, that's money. Now I'm not the guru of how to figure this out. I hope to have someone on that can have this conversation with us, but just being aware of it, like this isn't, it's not that, my wife's annoying me. It's you're freaking out about money. So you're picking a fight with your wife. I don't know. I'm not married. I don't have a wife. So I can't really go down that road, but emotionally, where are you upending your life?

or self-sabotaging or being completely destructive because of money. And spiritually, is there a mantra or mindset that you can ingrain in yourself or have more of an abundant feeling? And I don't mean just like walk down the street and be like, I have a million dollars and I'm good. No, mean not spiritually let the monetary value that you quote unquote have or don't have define your worth. That is the spiritual lesson here.

And that's how to apply it spiritually. So we are going to talk more about money. Money is a very important topic. It's a very important theme. Well, energy is a very important theme and the topic is money. But I think this is a major point and I mean, it's literally sometimes the reason people stay in relationships and I get it, but also how can we reframe, realign and reestablish what that is for us? So just a little food for thought.

Jojo (12:41.75)
I want you to start thinking about it. And, I want this to be a conversation. want this to be a narrative. want this to be a dialogue. I don't want this to be just me talking into a mic and you guys just being like, okay, yeah, cool. Like talk to me. That's what this is. That's what this is supposed to be. You guys know where to find me at underscore inside out dot podcast. Take 30 seconds pause. Who can you send this episode to now send it.

And don't forget to rate, review. Comments really help. So does ratings. So please make sure you're also doing that. Okay. Thank you. Well, with that, I'll see you guys next week. Have a great week. Bye.