Going Against Your Nature: The Shift That Changes Everything

In this week’s episode, Jojo shares her journey of rewiring her mind and soul by doing the exact opposite of what comes naturally. From stopping overthinking mid-loop to resisting the urge to reach out or react, she dives into the power of choosing differently — even when it feels nearly impossible. Get ready to reflect on your own patterns, embrace discomfort, and explore how doing the opposite of what you've always done might just be your path to peace.

We get one life. Why live on autopilot?

💭 What’s one area where you’re ready to go against your nature?

📌 Don’t forget to share this with a friend who’s stuck in a cycle — or ready to break free.

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to follow along on social media @_insideout.podcast, rate and review. And Join the MESy Mailing List for exclusive content, insights on what is coming up and more!

Transcript

Welcome to the Inside Out Podcast. I'm your host JoJo and this is where we will navigate the mess together that is mental, emotional and spiritual. Let's get messy.

Jojo (00:26.872)
Hello, hello, welcome back. Happy Wednesday. Happy whatever day of the week it is when you are listening to this episode, whether it's day or night, I hope you're having a fantastic time. So I wanted to talk about something that's been an active challenge. I love challenging myself and playing like little games with myself of like, can I do this? Can I have mind over matter here? And can I like not spiral and overthink can be insane.

And this has been such a journey for me, but that's why I'm going to share it because it's so challenging and it's pretty vulnerable and it's raw, but that's what I do here. So I am and always have been a chronic overthinker. I hesitate actually saying that I am that because our words have so much power and I am not that. I have the tendency to chronically overthink. There we go. So.

what have I been doing lately? Anytime I catch myself in that same looping mechanism, I stop. I stop myself and I'm like, no. And I'll just say no out loud and I'll like yell it at my ceiling or the roof of the car, wherever I am. Like I've even been walking down the street and just stopped dead in my tracks and just been like, no. And people like look at me, but typically I have headphones in so they probably just think I'm on the phone and not that I'm insane, but.

You know, both are also true. I am insane and usually not on the phone. Okay. So I'm, I'm sharing this because my nature is to behave one way is to chronically overthink is to rush for a result is to force an outcome is to chase a dynamic is to run after something that might not be good for me is to fill in the blank.

So lately I've been doing everything backwards. You know, like opposite days when you were a kid, like, it's opposite day. Like I hate you. I'm just kidding. That means I love you. It's like that, except I'm playing opposite day in every aspect of my life. my God. It is so tough. Let me tell you, it is so challenging, but it's so rewarding. Like I used to have so much anxiety about everything and trying to

Jojo (02:52.126)
understand things that just didn't need to be figured out at that time. But I would make myself crazy trying to figure something out that just like wasn't ready yet. It's like a ripened fruit. Like the fruit is still growing on the tree. Like why do you need an answer that if it's like ripe yet? Like no, it's just, it's still in process. So I would try to jump to the end of the process, figure out what the result was, and then back flip through back to where I was in time.

and not just be present or be just in the now. And my nature is to constantly be in the future or constantly being outside of myself and not owning my energy, where I'm at, how I'm feeling, and kind of just like projecting it all outward, if that makes any sense. So lately that's been changing way a bit to the point where like I'm having conversations with some of my friends and they're like, who are you?

And I'm like, excuse me? And they're like, this is so not normal for you. And you know what my answer is? Good. Because I don't want to stay the same. I don't want to be in that same vicious cycle of chronic overthinking or not being present or future tripping or all of the things that I do. I don't want to keep doing that because that is not a peaceful existence. It creates a lot of anxiety and a lot of like false sense of control.

It's maddening. I'm navigating something in my life right now where a lot of patience is needed and a lot of understanding that this isn't personal. And as someone who takes everything personal, that is a very hard thing to do. I basically just need to like sit down and shut up is what my current circumstance is asking of me. And not even just sit down and shut up, but like sit down and just like chill. Just chill.

You know how hard it is for me to chill as an Aries rising? That is, I'm fire, baby. Like I'm all go, go, go, go, go, action, action, action, get things done, do this, blah, blah, blah. For me to just be in the moment and be in the here and now, that is such a foreign concept to me. It's like speaking in hieroglyphics. Like what? But that is something that in order to change a dynamic, in order to evolve, in order to grow,

Jojo (05:19.359)
in order to really transform, you need to do something differently, right? So for instance, I've always started relationships where I'm gonna reference an Ariana Grande song, but see it, I like it, I want it, I got it. Like just like very much like I see this person, I'm interested in the person, okay, let's go, like now we're dating. And then we're dating for however long and then it inevitably falls apart in some way or another. And I wonder why.

because instant gratification is not the answer people. And just like, I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it. That's not, sorry Ariana, like that's not a reality that is sustainable. Anything that is worth it takes time. And we know that, right? Like this isn't a foreign concept, but to go against my nature in that aspect is to slow down. Ha ha ha.

Telling me to slow down is like telling a fish to breathe out of water. Anyway, me slowing down requires me to really stop doing everything that I've always done. Like slow rolling in and really being present, being intentional, being specific, being slow. If I wanna spend time with this person, that's probably gonna look like not spending time with that person. I will tell you something funny. Like I was in the car and

I was dropped off and I was with a group of friends and my normal reaction would have been to stay in the car because this person was gonna go get gas. And I was like, okay, like in my head I was like, I wanna come with you. So you know what I did? I ended my seatbelt and I jumped out of the car so fast so that I couldn't be around this person. And all I wanted to do was stay in the car and hang out with them and just like have some little like one-on-one time. So I did the opposite, the polar opposite.

That's just one silly example. But another is if I want to send a text, I don't because I'm someone who will pick up the phone and send a text or pick up the phone and make a phone call. So going against my nature is sitting in the silence. That's so uncomfortable for me. my God. That's so like, it makes me want to like break dishes. I want to like be in contact. I want to be, you know, in that person's world, like know what's going on, like talking all the time, communicate.

Jojo (07:44.092)
That's not, nope, that's what I've always done. Okay, Jojo, so sit down, shut up, and do something different. Do something that you would never have done before. And you know what that is? Not reaching for my phone, not filling the void or filling the silence with something because I feel out of control. And my tendency is to control the situation. Again, going against my nature. Now going against our nature can...

look like a bunch of different things. So think about an area in your life where you're like, this is a reoccurring issue or theme and this is something that I am not okay with and I need to change something because otherwise I'm gonna be stuck in this never ending cycle with seemingly the same results and no, I'm not okay with this anymore. Maybe that's a job, maybe you keep...

attracting the low paying job because you're like, well, I just need to work. Like I need money, I need this. And you're not setting yourself up for success because you're accepting a lower salary rather than a salary that you deserve. Maybe it's a health concern where you're going down the same avenue and trying to figure out with different doctors. And maybe it doesn't require that. Maybe it's a diet shift that needs to happen. I don't know.

I'm just like throwing out ideas here or maybe it's a control mechanism that you have or a lack of control or again, the overthinking is such a common one or fear of the unknown or some people do this and I've talked about this before, but if you're scared of something going out of your way to like conquer that fear, do something that makes you uncomfortable every single day. A few weeks ago, I am terrified of snakes. So I threw a snake around my entire body, like a live one and that was

very, very, very uncomfortable. But again, it's like, what can you do that's going to shift your reality? Let's say you want to get fit, right? You have to go in the gym and start working out. You have to train. have to progressively lift heavier weight. You have to progressively do more cardio. You have to progressively ramp it up. You're not going to get stronger by bicep curling air. You have to put some resistance to it. So if you're not changing,

Jojo (09:59.396)
If you're not doing something differently, if you're not getting out of the car when all you want to do is stay in the car, if you're not holding yourself back from a reaction or a response or an overthinking looping mechanism, if you're not choosing different, you can't be different. And that seems like so obvious, but my God, going against our nature is so hard. I was having a conversation with a friend the other night and I was like, I know that you just want to plan everything, have everything sorted out, have

X, Y, and Z lined up and you know everything's in its perfect little order. What if you just don't for a day? And they looked at me like I had 17 blue heads coming out of a dragon body and then I had three eyes in the middle of my face. were dumbfounded. They're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Seriously, if it's not scaring you shitless, what's the point? If it's not making you weak at the knees, what's the point? This is life we're talking about. We get one and if we want different, we gotta be different. In order to be different, you have to be strict with yourself. If you wanna lose weight, you can't keep eating the chocolate chip cookies. You can't just sit on your couch. Let's say, I mean, this is such a sensitive subject and

one that's been coming up a lot in my life recently with the people around me, but mental health and depression and I mean, even now we're not going to go down the dark, dark road, but you can understand where I was probably going to go. These are all very real things. And in order to get out of that, yeah, I understand that there are chemical imbalances that happen and there's a like, it's not as easy as just get off the couch. I know that.

But if there's one small thing that you can do, whether it's you don't want to talk to someone, so send a text. You want to be alone, so walk outside. You don't want to move your body, so do 10 jumping jacks. You want to eat a cookie, so eat a carrot instead. What are the little tiny minute things that you can do every single day that are going to readjust and just ultimately ripple out and change your reality?

Jojo (12:25.611)
And it's as simple as like, I'll be walking down the street and I'll be like, I want a coffee. And instead of going to the coffee shop and ordering a coffee, I'll still walk into the coffee shop, but I'll be like, you know what? I'm going to do a water instead, or I'm going to do a tea, or I'm going to do something that I normally would not do. Like hydrate, I don't know, drink a gallon of water. Another thing is I've been so organized in, I'm going to do this and I'm going to go here and I'm going to walk this way. And now it's like, I get to the corner of the road and I'm like, I should go straight. I'm going to turn left.

This is the route. I'm taking a different route because if I keep doing the same thing, and that sounds silly, but like walk a different direction, you think you want to do something, do the polar opposite and just keep training your brain to do that because the more that life throws at you and it's going to throw you curve ball after curve ball, but the more adaptable you are, it's not going to throw you out of whack so easily.

The more you can go against your nature, the more that you can be in flow with the natural progression of life. Because we have this idea that we can control everything and we really can't. We think that the logistics that we can figure them out. We can't. We can plan that old adage of like, you plan, God laughs. Why are you so hung up on, it has to go a certain way. Let go, let go and let God seriously. Because the minute you do that,

The moment that you surrender, the moment that you really are just like, you know what? I've tried to figure this situation out and plan and sort through and make the right move and make the right step. It's not going to go that way anyway. So if you just let go and trust, that's another thing, trust. I'm not good at trusting. I'm not good at trusting other people. I'm not good at trusting.

myself. I'm not good at trusting. Really, just the word trust has been a foreign concept. Lately, I've had to lean into trust so much more. Even in conversations, someone will be like, just trust me that I'm doing X, Y, and Z. I've had to fight every impulse to try to control the situation and to lean into trust and be like, you know what? I will and I do.

Jojo (14:50.154)
That's so hard for me to just let go and lean in, but then flip it over. What happens if I don't? I just create the same thing that I've always had? To me, that's not the answer. That's boring. That's not fulfilling. That's not going to get me to where I actually need to go. That's just going to keep me in the same exact place and not

push me forward. I will say this, because I've been going against my nature so much, the feedback I've been getting from the people closest to me in my life is absolutely shocking. I normally wouldn't share what other people say about me, because I don't want that to be from ego or like, well, look at me, blah, blah, blah. Like, I don't care about any of that. So I don't want it to come across that way, which is why I don't typically share, but I'm going to in order to drive a point home. People have, while they've looked at me sideways, like,

Who the heck are you? They've also noticed a total groundedness about me, a calm, a peace, a serenity that honestly has not existed. I have been a chronic over thinker for always, and I've always had anxious tendencies. I've always assumed the worst. I've always like, if there's silence, thought something was wrong. I've always reached or chased, like I've said, but doing everything

that's so hard for me to do has actually created so much more groundedness and peace. And that calmness is rippling out so that honestly, these conversations have come up so many times lately with different friends of mine who are in spirals, downward spirals, crazy looping mechanism, just shit's hitting the fan. And typically that would have thrown me off kilter. That would have made me spiral.

Or you know when something happens to someone close to you you're like, my God, is that going to happen to me? Maybe other people don't do that, but sometimes I have definitely done that. It hasn't brought me out of myself. I've been able to stay centered. I've been able to stay in my body. I've been able to stay true to my beliefs. I've been true to my nervous system and I've just had a lot more ease. I've been prioritizing sleep. I've been prioritizing

Jojo (17:15.382)
healthy food, I've been prioritizing myself and getting away from all of the things that pull me outside of myself. Again, going completely out of my nature because this is not typical of how I've always operated. So let's get messy with this mentally, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. Going against my nature is like doing 8,000 backflips in 45 seconds flat. It is insanity.

and it is constantly being aware of what I want to do and then fighting that urge. And I will, will tell you this. I have been so freaking exhausted lately because of how much mental work I've had mental and just how much work I've had to do around going against my nature. Like it is physically exhausting, but I'm mentally putting myself in the gym every day so that I'm not

driving myself crazy, the people around me crazy, and just creating the same stories. Emotionally, well, it's also been emotionally exhausting too, but emotionally, like I shared, I've felt so much more balanced, so much more at ease, so much more in control, which is a paradox, I'm realizing, because I'm going against my need to control.

But because of how balanced I feel with just letting go and surrendering, it's actually peaceful not controlling everything. It's actually peaceful not trying to figure out the outcomes of all of the things and doing backflips and mental gymnastics all the time, which is again, another paradox because I'm saying it's so difficult and exhausting to do this, but at the same time, it's so peaceful doing it. But at the end of the day, it's like you're putting yourself through a triathlon.

You're getting stronger, but you're also just so drained. But drained in the best way, mind you. So spiritually, spiritually, I think a lot of clarity is being created because I'm not forcing, rushing, chasing, trying to figure out anything. I'm just allowing things to unfold and that alignment is happening so much more effortlessly because I'm doing the tough.

Jojo (19:36.924)
stuff to stay grounded, to stay present, but it really is just that ripple effect of what you do on the inside really does reflect on the outside. So I wanted to share this because it has been really rewarding in a lot of ways, really eye-opening in others. And while I feel it in myself, the feedback I'm getting is also pretty powerful. And I

I know I have a lot of people in my life that are probably like, wait a second, you're different. They haven't voiced it, but I can tell they're like looking at me a little differently. They're like, you good? Like this is not normal for you. And I'm like, yeah, I'm actually really good because I'm again, going against my nature and I'm just letting it be. So if there's an area of your life where you can just let go, surrender,

Stop trying to figure things out, work out the logistics and just lean in a little bit more to what feels so unnatural. I guarantee you are going to find a lot more clarity. So this is something that I really want you to do. Please comment what you are doing to go against your nature in the comments because I want to, I want to know.

I want to talk to you. I want to learn what it is that is so challenging for you that you need to rewire and that you're completely changing and doing differently in your life. Because we're not alone in this. The more that we have these conversations, the more that we're vulnerable and honest and outwardly honest, not just like, I'll tell my friend, she knows everything. Like the more that we put this stuff out there, the less alone that we feel and the more empowered we feel to actually make the changes.

So take a moment, think about what that is and please comment, like right now. And then maybe send this episode to a friend because that would be really great because I want to hear what they're going through as well. Okay. That's all for this week. You guys know where to find me at underscore inside out dot podcast and I will see you guys on the next one. Have a great week. Bye.