The Sound of Silence: What Happens When You Finally Get Quiet

Jojo explores what we uncover in silence, why we fear stillness, and how quieting the noise can lead to clarity, alignment, and inner peace.

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Transcript

Welcome to the Inside Out podcast. I'm your host JoJo and this is where we will navigate the math together that is mental, emotional and spiritual. Let's get messy.

Jojo (00:26.744)
Hi everyone, welcome back. Thank you for taking this time to really unpack not easy conversations and not easy reflections that we're having. So I wanted to bring up something that really, really hit hard for me last night in a conversation. And that is about silence.

that's about stillness. And it made me really reflect on how little I really allow silence and stillness to be in my life. Well, let me ask you this. Do you notice that we're always filling silence, whether that's with music or a podcast, maybe we're scrolling on social media or having a conversation, maybe we're just in motion constantly.

It's almost like we treat silence like it's the enemy. But to reframe that, what if the silence and the stillness is actually the medicine that we need? Maybe we need to hear ourselves. Maybe we don't listen to our intuition enough. So today I want to explore that, to sit in the quiet and see what really comes up. I think silence really reveals

what's underneath and it's gonna be uncomfortable. But I think that through this, it's gonna be very healing. So I'm gonna bring it back about, my gosh, I guess 12, 15 years ago, when I was in high school, I used to go to my spot, which was this little mesa up on a mountain and

I would sit there, would sit and I would look over the town that I lived in and I wouldn't listen to anything and I would just be, be fully present and just hear myself and see what came up. After the conversation I had last night with my friend at dinner, I realized that I have not done that. I have not just sat and just let myself be.

Jojo (02:54.605)
be truthfully like the last time I feel like I really, really did that and did that consistently was in high school. And I was talking to my friend and I said to him,

Wow. I don't think.

Well, I do think actually, but I don't, it's both. I do think I can do it, but I don't think I can really handle what will come up, if that makes sense. Because even thinking about that felt like anxiety and letting myself just be felt really like, my God, like before he picked me up for dinner, I was unpacking.

And I put on music because I needed to fill that void. And I always have something playing. maybe not always, but more often than not, like if I'm walking down the street, there's a podcast in my ears. There's something so that like, maybe it's a defense mechanism. Maybe it's so I don't have to deal with like what I'm really feeling. Maybe it's a distraction, but that's a problem.

And right now I'm realizing how big of a problem that is. Because I was asked two very big questions yesterday.

Jojo (04:25.889)
One of them was, what do you want for your future? And these are from two different people, mind you. And the other one was, about a specific situation, what do you really want here? And the crazy part is, I don't know if I've ever let myself go there. I've never let myself sit in that silence to hear the reality and the truth again. That's a huge problem.

I think it goes even deeper than just, you know, being quiet for a few minutes. think it's sometimes when we go to sleep at night, like we have the TV on, right? We were constantly wanting to fill that void, but what are we running from? Like, what really is it that we don't want to hear? And that, whatever that is, is probably the antidote.

to the issues that you're masking with constantly being in motion, with constantly filling your head with stuff, filling your brain with distractions or other people's opinions or entertainment. I mean, when do we really allow ourselves? And I think it's rarely ever to not do that.

And some people say, well, music is my solace. That's great. Take it a step further. Go into quiet. Just be. Maybe it's getting a cup of coffee and sitting and staring out the window. Now, I live in a very noisy place. So there's rarely ever silence around me. But a few weeks ago, I was in the mountains and I was able to just be.

And I specifically did not put in headphones. I specifically did not listen to anything. I just let myself hear my own voice, ground.

Jojo (06:33.631)
and it was not comfortable. So let's get messy with this mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Mentally, when you sit in stillness, what are the thoughts that arise when everything goes quiet? Do you feel yourself wanting to reach for your phone or put on music or distract yourself? Why?

Jojo (07:03.267)
Really ask yourself why. You know what? Get out a piece of paper, if you can, or open your notes app, or pause this.

and say why. Why do I not like to sit in silence? I'll do it. I'll do it as an example. How about that? Why do I not like to sit in silence? Well, when I sit in silence,

Jojo (07:32.822)
anxiety comes up.

Jojo (07:37.399)
Why am I anxious?

Jojo (07:41.359)
Probably lack of alignment in certain areas of my life.

or misalignment or unbalanced behaviors or...

So I want you to go deeper and deeper. Just keep asking the why emotionally.

Jojo (08:01.709)
What emotions come up when you're just being?

For me, it is anxiety. It was very interesting because the person that I was having dinner with said, what came up for him when he sits in silence is peace.

Jojo (08:23.277)
And I like literally threw my head back and like screamed, wow.

Like

Jojo (08:34.479)
Maybe it is peace. Maybe the peace is underlying all of this chaos that we fill our heads with. And maybe the minute we turn out the noise, we're actually like, okay, can just breathe and I can just be. But for me, it's not peace. It's, I have to do this and I have to do that and dah, dah, dah. It's never ending.

So what if in that silence, you let that noise of your brain just chatter away at you and you just practice stillness every day so that when there is silence, you can become peaceful. That boredom and loneliness aren't the emotional responses. I also realized something recently just through being with certain people.

We're constantly in distraction mode. We're constantly reaching for our phone. Have you ever been with someone and they're constantly looking at their phone? It's like they can't even be present with you. Whether they're like, I'm just changing a song or I'm just, it's like, cut it out. Why are you, like what is your mind doing that you constantly need to be like checking social media or checking your texts or looking at this or looking at like just be? Because being on the receiving end of that,

That elicits an emotional response of, well, what am I even doing here?

Jojo (10:09.822)
So maybe you are doing that to people unknowingly in your life and creating space and not the space that's good, the space that like makes people wonder, do I matter? Do you care? Are you even listening to me?

And I think that's very much part of this because if we're constantly filling our heads and we're not sitting in just being, being present, being open, being available, being...

We are human beings. We are not human doings. When is the last time you let yourself be? Just be present, be available and be open. And spiritually, this is a deep one, but spiritually, can you really get in touch with your soul and figure out what your soul is trying to say when you're not trying to cover it with all the noise? Is there a way that you can

tap in deeper. Maybe it's breath work. Maybe it's being outside. Maybe it's journaling. Maybe it's just, you know what? Tonight, I'm just going to sit and instead of staring at my TV, I'm going to stare at my ceiling and just see what comes up.

I challenge you to really get anxious. No one likes to be uncomfortable, but what is under the anxiety? You're never going to know unless you allow yourself to pull back the layers of that onion. Now, I want to invite you to really do this tough work this week.

Jojo (11:56.348)
I would even say daily because I'm going to be doing it. I'm going to be really conscious of being, being in silence, being in stillness, not being in constant motion. Yesterday from top to bottom, like the minute I opened my eyes to the second I closed them,

I didn't have a second for myself.

mentally, emotionally or spiritually. I didn't just ground.

And I'm starting to notice that's a common theme. I'm never just here. I'm always, what's the next thing? What am I doing? I have to do this.

Jojo (12:43.016)
What if we change that?

What if we take our bodies out of motion and really ground into the right here right now and just see what comes up? This is gonna be hard. I'm already aware of it. I'm already feeling like, it's like that pit in your stomach. It's almost like a hole, like a lack of like, my God, like I have to, it sucks.

But how much better of a friend are you going to be if you can just be? How much more consistent are you gonna be with yourself and your routines, even your own emotions? You're gonna learn yourself better, you're gonna hear your own voice deeper, you're gonna tap way more into your intuition.

Now this might seem like such a simple thing and yet the most simplistic things in this world are often the hardest and often ones that we just bypass. We don't even pay attention to.

Jojo (13:54.782)
So wherever you are right now, if you're driving down the road, maybe pause this and pick up when you're not driving. But whatever you're doing, can you take a minute right now and pause?

Let's do something that we really rarely ever do, which is nothing.

Let's just be here. No music, no scrolling, no nothing.

for one minute.

Jojo (15:36.242)
How was that?

What came up?

Jojo (15:42.866)
Write in the comments, let me know. Was it peaceful? Was anxiety coming up? the whole gambit of, wait, what, I need to do this and my gosh, and I forgot to call this person. What came up? Be honest with yourself. I'm also noticing how much we are dishonest with ourselves.

Jojo (16:06.28)
We don't really tell ourselves the truth about anything. yeah, no, I'm fine. Are you? yeah, no, it was, we had a nice time. Did you?

Jojo (16:19.602)
What are the stories you're telling yourselves that are keeping you stuck in the same cycles, keeping you small, keeping you anxious and limiting you from hearing yourself? It's time to get real, it's time to make changes, it's time to go and do the tough work.

because no one else is gonna do it for you. You get one life.

Jojo (16:46.814)
So what are you gonna do with your one beautiful, incredible and amazing existence? Well guys, you know where to find me at underscore inside out dot podcast, share this episode with a friend and I'll see you next week. Have a great week, bye.