Finding Joy in Everyday Life

In this episode of The Inside OUT Podcast, Jojo unpacks what joy really means and why we've been looking for it in all the wrong places. It's not about the big wins, the vacations, or the fireworks. Joy lives in the small, quiet moments we often overlook. Jojo invites you to lower the bar for joy, embrace childlike playfulness, and stop outsourcing your happiness to others. She challenges fear-based thinking with one powerful reframe: What if it all goes right?

This episode is your reminder that joy is a birthright, and it's already within you.

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to follow along on social media @_insideout.podcast, rate and review. And Join the MESy Mailing List for exclusive content, insights on what is coming up and more!

Transcript

Jojo (00:07.212)
Welcome to the Inside Out podcast. I'm your host JoJo and this is where we will navigate the mess together. That is mental, emotional and spiritual. Let's get messy.

Jojo (00:25.473)
friends. Welcome back to Inside Out and happy new year. If you're new here, I'm Jojo. And this podcast is where we navigate the mess. The mess that I have created is the model of mental, emotional, and spiritual. And basically we figure out how to live a life that feels aligned, whole, and basically just ours. So today's topic is joy.

I'm not talking about the highlight real kind, not the fireworks, not the vacations, not the once in a lifetime kind of moment joy. I want to talk about the joy that we overlook because I feel like we've been taught that joy has to be loud and extravagant. So I looked up Merriam-Webster's definition of joy and it says, a feeling of great happiness, a source of delight, which

Okay, sure. But what if we've defined joy too narrowly? What if that great happiness isn't the goal? And instead, joy is those quiet nudges, a tiny spark, the thing that sort of makes you go, even if it's just for a second.

And want to talk about lowering the threshold of joy and what that really means and letting it be easy and letting joy truly be yours and not comparing it to others. So I think that somewhere along the way, we stopped giving our self permission to be playful. And I think we, we think that joy has to be earned, that it has to be understood by other people in order to be valid.

Which, which what if it's not? So there's an Emerson quote that I found and he says, in the minds of geniuses, we find our own neglected thoughts. Now I'm going to unpack this later in the episode, but this really hit me because joy is a neglected thought.

Jojo (02:49.505)
It's buried under hustle and expectations and if you're being too much or if you're not being enough and, but it's still there. So today I want to ask some questions and those questions I want you to ask yourself through this episode are what brings you pleasure? What makes you feel free? What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? And what if

Instead of asking, what if it all goes wrong? We start asking, but what if it goes right?

So, let's break it down from the inside out.

Jojo (03:49.457)
Joy isn't just about performance. It's not just found in the big loud moments. I think joy is discovered when we stop outsourcing it and we start noticing what actually lights us up. So going back to Miriam Webster's definition about it being a feeling of great happiness, I think that skews our perception of joy, that it has to be grand and that it has to be rare.

When in reality, I believe that joy is something that can be accessible every single day. And in order for that to land with us, I truly believe that that means lowering the threshold. And what I mean by lowering the threshold of joy is we've inflated the requirements of what counts as joy.

We wait for the vacation or a promotion or a lavish, I don't know, proposal. But what if joy is in the small little moments? A hug from the person you love, the sunlight coming through the blinds, lighting your favorite scented candle or simply just

standing outside in sunlight, listening to the birds. Or maybe it's a song that comes on when you're on the subway or driving your car. Joy is available always, everywhere. It's available in those mundane moments that we think are mundane at least, where we roll over in bed and the sun's coming through the curtain instead of it being pouring rain outside. So think about what is something

that made you smile this week. It can't be a gift, you guys. I know it was just the holidays. It can't be like a lavish moment. I'm talking about the little tiny things in life. For me, the little moments were making a cup of coffee, opening the door so the dogs could run outside, and standing in the sunlight and watching them play. That was my little moment of joy. And that's a very simple thing.

Jojo (06:11.141)
Now I could go back and say, New Year's Eve or Christmas day or all of those things too. But I'm talking about the little moments. What are the little moments that maybe we overlook because they aren't these grand gestures or these grand moments. Now pleasure and playfulness, I feel like is also something that is a little bit overlooked. When I think of joy and these little moments and just like

It's the little things. It's these little moments, right? I think we've skewed so far away from those childlike moments of joy, whether, you know, I see the sun shining and I'm like, ooh, sunlight, which might seem silly. But sunlight to me and those little moments is just like, like I love it. And it just makes me just like want to like jump around.

Now, in adulthood, we don't really feel or embrace the freedom to play. And honestly, I think that freedom of like, ooh, and like, my gosh, you know, those little sparks of joy and moments that we feel, we rarely latch onto them and explore the depths of it.

or just allow it to be a moment.

We're scared of being judged by others of, like, what are you so excited about? And there's a serious tone of like, like act your age almost that sort of comes into play and that we can't have these, these outbursts of joy. Now in that freedom to play in that freedom to just be childlike.

Jojo (08:10.942)
Think of children, for instance. If they want something, they say it. If they're upset, they cry. If they like something, they laugh. It's very innocent. And I think in adulthood, we've gotten so far away from that because we're scared to just be, to just be ourselves. And the failure aspect really does come in

because failure and judgment are usually co-linked. And what I mean by that is we don't take risks and we don't do things that would make us happy because we're scared that we will fail or that others will judge us. So the question I want to ask here is, what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Would you move? Would you change careers? Would you get into that relationship? Would you?

completely change your entire life? Would you actually go for what you wanted? I will say for me, this past year has been... I've been calling it my fi-bi era, which is... Excuse my French here, but fuck it, book it.

and

Jojo (09:34.566)
It's almost just like screw it, do it, you know? But I've been taking these moments, these opportunities to just be, to just do, to just book the trip, to just go where I want to go from a place of true desire and not worrying about or getting too caught up in the weeds of

Well, what is this going to look like? How is this going to play out? And it's just like, is this something that I want to do? Yes. So I'm going to do it. Forget what anyone thinks. No one gets to have a say in the way that I live my life, but I've been trying to live more in the moment, which brings in that spontaneity, that wonder, that experimentation, rather than just like, I'm going to do this and this is going to be the outcome. It's like, well,

anything can be the outcome because I'm just doing it from desire and something that's going to make me happy or joyous. Which brings me to the Emerson quote, which I will repeat, in the minds of geniuses, we find our own neglected thoughts.

Jojo (10:51.314)
What I interpreted this quote to mean is joy already exists within us. However, we've neglected it. Joy isn't something that is, that is learned, right? It's inherent. It's remembered. It's innate. Joy is not outsourced, even though nowadays we have totally made it that way. We, we look for how other people are going to perceive a certain thing. Like,

For instance, art, you go to a museum and I think museums are vastly misunderstood. I've been one of those people that has just been like, well, I don't get it. So what's the point? For a while. Now that has shifted, but this was a mindset and a place that I was in a while ago. And now I'm starting to look at art and music.

all of these things is what is my interpretation of it? Not what other people are telling me to feel from said music or art.

but how it actually sits in my body, how it actually sparks a feeling within me.

Jojo (12:12.168)
For instance, in the museum, you're standing in front of an art piece. Maybe you don't get it, but you can ask yourself very basic questions about that art piece. Do you like it?

Does it make you feel something? Does it send you somewhere else? Does it create an entire different pathway of thoughts or emotions or nostalgia and brings you back to something else? Or are you standing there just being like, am I supposed to like this? Am I supposed to get it? Are you judging yourself based on what other people may or may not be thinking? First of all, no one's thinking about you.

Let's just caveat that right there. Everyone is so stuck in their own world of not wanting to be judged or fail or seem stupid or not understand the art piece or whatever it is that we get so far away from. Yeah, but do you actually like it? Does this make you happy? Go to a museum and see a beautiful statue or a painting of flowers. Like, what does that bring up in you?

Peace, Nostalgia for your grandmother's backyard. A memory of being in Europe. Where does that take you? Do those things spark joy? Maybe not always.

Jojo (13:42.206)
But again, this is about defining your own pleasure, not having other people define it for you. And it's about owning it, owning your joy. And maybe there's a song you love. Maybe other people don't get it. That's okay. Music is very personal. But do you allow yourself to love a song even if no one else understands it because you love it?

and it makes you happy, do you turn it on and blast it your living room and dance around because it makes you feel something?

And maybe you've shared music with friends or loved ones and they don't necessarily understand it. And that makes you then go backwards and revert to, well, I'm a failure.

or, I'm being judged.

What if we get away from that mindset? What if it's, okay, well, it makes me happy. The people you love want you to be happy.

Jojo (14:47.244)
just because they don't necessarily like that music, but they see that you like it.

That's a positive thing. Not everyone is going to see music, art, anything that maybe you like the same way that you are going to see it. And maybe you get away from sharing those things with people because of the judgment. But I want to invite you to share more music that you love, to invite people to do things that bring you joy, that bring them more into your world.

than the other way around. It's so easy to forget that we have a world that someone else can come into. And it's so easy to just go into someone else's world and do all the things that they like, whether that's your friends, your partner, your siblings, your family, because we're so scared of being judged for our likes, desires, all the things that bring us joy.

So how do we get away from that? It's a muscle.

And that muscle is sharing and sending the song, inviting them to that show.

Jojo (16:06.636)
going to that museum, experiencing that thing that lights you up and allowing someone to experience you in those moments.

It's allowing other people to feel what you feel. It's basically saying, this is what makes me feel good. And I want you to feel it too. Even if they don't, they're going to, if they're a good person, which hopefully they are, they're going to understand your process and that you love it. And maybe because you love it, that's enough for them.

that's enough for them to be happy with it. I think about the best partners, the best partnerships where it's not compromising to go do something that the person doesn't love. Like let's say like one person loves basketball, other person's not a big fan of basketball.

It's not about going and doing that thing to compromise because it's like, okay, well, she loves basketball and I like the movies and vice versa. They don't really work together, right?

Are you going to watch the basketball game with her because

Jojo (17:30.24)
you're compromising and just doing it because like, okay, well, like we've just done my stuff recently and now like this is something for her. Or are you doing it from the mindset of this is what makes her happy. Her joy is my joy. Seeing her light up brings me happiness. If this is something she's passionate about and this physically is something that excites her,

If you love that person and that person's important to you, aren't you going to want to experience that thing with her?

Jojo (18:10.368)
and reverse the gender roles, reverse the topics.

But that is sharing. That's sharing joy and that's sharing in almost like a love language of watching someone else be happy in a certain state, being brought into that and then appreciating it, even if it's not your thing, just appreciating what it is for them. Can we, can we get there is the question. So going back to what I was saying about my favorite couples, my favorite couples that I see are the ones

that view it that way. I think it's key.

Now there is fear in that, that you're going to again be judged or they're not going to like what you like, which is work that we need to do individually in order to get over that. Cause we're all our own person. But once we remove the blocks of the fear of looking silly, of failing, of it not going right, them not liking it, everything not working out.

That's what keeps us from experiencing the little moments and the big moments. We get in our own way. We are our own roadblock in that. So instead of that fear, that judgment that, it's going to fail.

Jojo (19:45.632)
There's a mindset that we have in our heads, right? And this perpetual question of, if it goes wrong? What if it fails? What if I lose all my money? What if I get in this relationship and it doesn't work out? What if the business fails? What if I lose all my money? I'm asking you to flip that right here, right now. What if it all goes right? Think about the worst thing that has ever happened to you.

Did it ruin you? Did everything crumble? Maybe for a little bit, but what was on the other side of that?

What was on the other side of everything turning to ash? Did you rise like a phoenix from it?

Did it completely reroute you into a channel or an area of life or onto a path that you couldn't even see coming because you were so limited by, my God, my world's crumbling. But in reality, it completely rerouted you and more or less put it exactly where you needed to be.

Jojo (20:55.03)
Because I think if we're honest with ourselves, when we look at fear of it all going wrong or something not working out, we don't get to the other side of it because we're so stuck in that feeling or that traumatic experience that we forget, wow, after that relationship ended, my whole life changed. I was able to do this. I did that. I met this person. This led to this. My career went this way. I moved to that state. moved

Everything changes and you start to realize, whoa, if I had stayed with that person or that job or had that situation never happened, I never would have had what is my current reality right now. So reframing this entirely is a necessity in order to activate and achieve joy.

Enjoy the small moments, not the performative ones. So stop trying to avoid pain because in avoiding pain, you're also avoiding joy because you're never trying. Fear is a myth.

Joy is a birthright. So let's get messy with this mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Mentally, I need you to redefine joy. Let go of the high bar that you have put joy to be. Emotionally.

Give yourself permission to feel joy in small doses, i.e. the sunlight, the book, the person, the hug, the music, whatever it is. Small moments, not the huge grand gestures, okay? Feel it, really feel it. And spiritually, trust that you are meant to feel good, that the universe is conspiring.

Jojo (22:59.554)
for your joy and not against it. For example, those painful moments that seems like your world's ending in actuality on the other side of that is this beautiful life that you never even knew was possible.

So to wrap this all up.

I really want you to go inwards and start to think about the small moments, the small things, seemingly insignificant that you can do this week and moving forward that bring you joy, that will put you in that feeling perpetually.

so that there's an undercurrent throughout your day, throughout your weeks, throughout your months, throughout your year. And this is a risky one, but if you have what it takes, I'm curious what your songs are that you like, that make you happy. So put them in the comments, tag this story on your social medias, write the comments, make the song post, do whatever, that I'm gonna see what songs you guys like.

that bring you joy. Or just share something with me, DM me, make a comment on the sub stack.

Jojo (24:25.162)
write whatever you want, let me know what the little things are that bring you joy. Because I would love to hear them. We're moving away from the holidays, Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, which can be very happy times and also can be very stressful times. So I want this thread of joy to be something that is interwoven throughout your days.

that you can carry through so that no matter what, you're not outsourcing from other people. You're not, I was with this person, so I'm happy. Or I got this validation, so I'm good. What is stuff that you can do for yourself when no one else is watching?

that you can give that joy to yourself and be your own source of fulfillment and happiness. And with that, you guys know where to find me at underscore inside out dot podcast on Instagram. My sub stack is linked in the show notes. That's where all my emails get sent from. Uh, we have a channel on there that we're going to be getting more involved with this year and more announcements coming up for you guys. So I'm really excited to keep

this conversation of how to align our lives and really live truthfully from the inside out. And with that, have a great week guys. Happy holidays again and happy new year. Talk to you soon. Bye.