Being The One: Becoming The Energy You're Trying To Attract

What if the person you're waiting for is waiting for you to become ready? In this solo episode, Jojo unpacks a conversation with a girlfriend about meeting "the one"  and why most of us are sabotaging the real thing by settling for convenient. We're getting MESy about intuition vs. logic, the universe's tests, why love defies logic, and what it actually means to live in the vibration of what you're calling in. If you've ever had an illogical gut feeling about someone and tried to talk yourself out of it,  this one's for you.

Topics: dating, manifestation, intuition, soulmates, energetic alignment, trusting the universe, protecting new love.

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to follow along on social media @_insideout.podcast, rate and review. And Join the MESy Mailing List for exclusive content, insights on what is coming up and more! 

Transcript

Welcome to the Inside out podcast.
I'm your host Jojo, and this is where we will navigate the mess together. That is mental, emotional, and spiritual. Let's get messy.

Jojo (00:27.843)
Wednesday, you guys, this is a topic that I'm actually wanting to bring back because I was on the phone recently with a girlfriend and we were talking about someone that she has just met, and it brought me back and I really wanted to unpack it because I think there's something in this that will be a little reminder and more of a moment of like trusting patience, building something that's real.

And doing it in a way that's not coming from lack or neediness, but really just honoring what we want and how that all unfolds. So let me paint the picture. We were on the phone a little bit before this conversation and we were talking about dating and meeting the right people and

How dating apps aren't really it. And she's known for a long time that she's not going to be meeting her person on a hinge or out at a bar because that's not her style. She doesn't want to be on her phone. She doesn't like texting. And she's definitely not going to like go out to a late night type of bar place to like try to meet someone because she's like, but that's not me. So I'm basically setting myself up for failure by being in a situation and sort of like setting the wrong impression. And I was like, that's great.

Don't do that. Like what is authentic to you? And like what do you really want? So she started telling me about how she envisions her life, what she's looking for, and got really honest with herself. And she's like, But how am I gonna meet that person? And what I said to her was, Love defies logic. It defies time, space, and motion. But if you truly want something, you have to start acting in accordance with that. So if you want to meet someone.

In the ways that you are speaking about. For instance, like, let's say you want to meet someone who is a traveler, who doesn't like to go out and party, who is really ambitious, is living in a city that like you can see yourself living in. Maybe you live in a place that you're like, I'm not happy here and I want to move. For instance, she wasn't happy where she was living, so she picked up her whole life.

Jojo (02:47.341)
And moved to the place that she was going to be the happiest because she saw herself being with someone who was in that same place or in that same vibe or happy with where they were living. And if you want to attract someone who's happy where they are, you also have to be happy where you are. Like you literally have to be the list. And this is this, these are conversations that we've had over the years. But what really struck me about this particular conversation that we had was that.

Kind of a map and like a throughway of like how you really are gonna find the right people for you. So she was saying all of the things that she wanted. And I said to her, I was like, he's closer than you think, but you have to really honor that. You can't be going out with with guys who are just, you know, gonna give you the attention and are gonna be fun. Like they can't be place fillers. Almost act as if your husband.

Your future husband is watching you. And if there was a video camera on your life, would you be okay with him seeing the way that you're acting before you've met him? So what I want to say to you, my friend in the room listening, is are you acting in accordance to if this person that you end up with was watching you right now? Would they be proud of the decisions you're making? Would they be like, yeah, that's the kind of person I want to be with? Because

If you want to make room for the right person to come into your life, you have to live in the energy of what you're calling in. You can't just be like running around and sleeping around and going out partying late. If that's not the energy in the relationship that you want to call in, let's flip it for a second. How would you feel if your person was doing that and you saw that? Would you be like, yeah, they're ready?

My guess is no. Now the universe does funny things because it's almost like testing you and it has a microscope on you and it's like, Are you ready? Are you really ready? Are you sure you're ready? Because it's gonna send you tests, opportunities to mess up. Now, a few years ago, I ended up meeting someone, and when I met them, I just had this like gut feeling.

Jojo (05:05.34)
Since day one, that I was like, this is what I've been calling in. This is the kind of man, this is the kind of person, this is the kind of energy, this is the kind of everything that I'm looking for. And logically, it made no sense. Absolutely no sense at all. But I really had this feeling, this like deep intuitive feeling of like, yeah, but this might be it. And I think that feeling, it wasn't well, that feeling didn't, or that

That thought, that feeling didn't come from logic. It came from left field. It came from out on the ether. I don't know. It just dropped in and I I remember when I met this person, I like ran away from them. Like literally ran away from them. And they were so confused by it. They're like kind of came and like found me in a way. And they're like, Hello? But I was talking to my friend and she had that same feeling. She's like, I met this person all these illogical, like

thoughts just kept being like, this is this is and I was like, no, stop. Like, why are you judging your thoughts? Because one thought, one thing would drop in and she'd be like, I just met this is him. And then she'd the other side of her brain would be like, wait, shut up. Like, what are you talking about? Ha what? Like I I just met this person. What I want you to do is just fully sh just stop. Because your intuition is illogical. When something drops in, it doesn't drop in from like nowhere.

It comes from something. At the end of the day, we are spiritual beings. We're not like manufactured robots. We get intuitive hits. Whether we listen to them or notice them is another thing. But she had this intuitive hit. And then her logic side was like trying to talk herself out of it.

And she's just been in this like internal battle with herself back and forth because of this. And now listen, s I did the same thing a few years ago. And I and I did it for a long time because it was not linear by any means. But I don't think love is linear. I don't think relationships are supposed to be any sort of directional. Like it's not supposed to just be black and white. You meet, you're together, and then then that's it. Like it that's not that's not life, you guys. That's that's not life at all. Now she's going back and forth with herself.

Jojo (07:23.083)
And I reminded her, I was like, let me do you remember when this sort of situation happened to me and the way that I was dealing with it. And how if you really are calling something in, let's say you're calling in patience and you want to become more patient or you want to trust more, what the universe is gonna give you is not just a calm environment. It's not just gonna give you people who you're like, yeah, I can trust them. Great, I'm like working out this muscle really well. No. It's gonna give you the opposite.

It's gonna be like, but do you trust? But are you patient? And it's gonna give you situations where you literally have to defy logic. And whether it's that person or not, specifically in this situation, whether she ends up with this man or not, is not the point. The point is, is she trusting her intuition being like, whether it's him or the type of

Of energy that he's bringing that she wants in her future, is she going to allow herself to be in that, to accept that? And when another man comes into her life or there's a date opportunity or or whatever, is she gonna hold strong to the boundary of No, I'm not gonna just accept crumbs or fail this test because the universe is being like, but have you learned?

But are you learning? Because if there's someone else that's just giving you attention and in your life and it's like convenient and easy, you guys, that's called settling. And we're not in the business of settling. We get one life as as ourselves. I mean, spiritually we can argue, you know, reincarnation and all the things. I'm talking about this one life today that we have. This, this, this in this carnation. Let's talk about it that way. No, what whatever you believe outside of that, that's not what I'm talking about.

But we have one life as as Jojo, as Suzy, as Bob. So if you get one life, why are you gonna settle for the person that's down the street? Cause it's like, yeah, well he's nice, but you know, I want my life to be this way. But like convenience, we don't want convenience. Again, like I said, love defies logic, defies time, space, and motion. And if you truly believe that, that's where the work starts. It doesn't start with, and they were my neighbor and then we fell in love and lived happily ever after. You don't hear those stories.

Jojo (09:42.181)
You hear the trials, the tribulations, and like mountains had to somehow move and form and caverns were built, and it just like if you look at people's love stories, they're sometimes just like, what on how? And I'm talking about real love stories. And I told her, I said, listen, you've told me for a long time that these type of men are not what you're looking for. And what you really want, I've never heard you say, I think I've met him. I think that's him.

And even if it's not, again, it's the energy of that. So are you going to start living in that? Are you going to start abiding by what you truly desire, your soul's like true, true, true desire, and be like, all right, well, now I'm going to start living as such. Because now if if the guy down the street comes along, are you just going to be like, well, this person isn't exactly here right now?

Again, what if they had a microscope on you? What if they had video camera on you? What if the universe is testing you and you're failing the test, therefore it's pushing your soulmate further and further away? When I met this person a few years ago, I said, whether it's him or not, and I had a very strong feeling that it was him, I am gonna act as such. Because if by some crazy coincidence he were to ever know that I was going out or like dating other people or like and I it just didn't feel right. Whether

Whether or not we were together was not the point. If you want to attract something, if you want to really build something, you have to be in the vibration of that. Otherwise, it's not gonna find you. So I said to myself, I was like, listen, if it's him or not, I'm gonna start living as if he's in my life already. And at that point, yeah, I had met him. He was in he was in my life. Like I knew he existed. We were not together, none of that, but that was irrelevant. That was not the point. The point was

If I want to call in the right relationship for me, I have to start being that. Again, we all have these lists of people that we want, right? Successful, blah, blah, blah. Like whatever your list is, become the list. Live in accordance to if that person was already in your life. Are you gonna be going out flirting with other people? Or are you gonna be honoring the energy that you're calling in? Now you're gonna be tested. The universe is gonna send you the X. It's gonna send you the convenience. It's gonna send you.

Jojo (12:01.679)
The fuck boy. It's gonna send you the the play play girl. I don't know what they call them these days. But how are you gonna respond to that when it shows up? Now we truly don't know how life is gonna unfold, whether these are our people or not, if she ends up with this person or not. If this if it might be her husband, that person might be my husband. I don't know. The person not not her person, but the person that I met a few years ago. That might be my husband, but it also might not be. But still, how are you gonna act? Are you gonna trust?

Are you gonna certainty? Are you gonna really live in the energy of what you're calling in? And that's the whole point, you guys. Because we're so easily blinded and using social media and but there's a convenient person and well, they're cute. Like, but what are you what are you neglecting? What are you negating? What are you looking past? What are you seeing through? Because the more people I talk to, the more I realize we all have this innate desire for true connection.

I think the biggest thing is trust. We're not trusting that we can actually find it, therefore we're settling. And I was asking my friend about this guy that she met. And she was like, I don't really want to like tell anyone. Like, you're the first person I'm really telling, besides the friends that I was with that like met him when I was there. And I was like, you what? That's the smartest thing you could ever do. Why do people not talk about when they get pregnant for the first trimester? Something has to form. Jealousy, evil eye.

Someone being like, well, why can't I have that? Like, I want to meet my That can all ruin it. At the end of the day, this is all energy, you guys. We are all energy. And a simple telling people too soon. I mean, how many times do you guys get into a relationship and then all of a sudden it falls apart and you start posting about it and everything's happening and then all of it's gone? Like almost faster than you could have blinked. And you're like, wait, did that even just happen? It's because there was no foundation. It was a straw house that just blew over. You gotta lay the concrete. You gotta like.

Do the work. You've got to like plant the seed and then see the shoot come out of the ground before you start to name the flower. It's the same thing. Start a relationship in silence. Protect the sanctity of that. Protect the energy of it before you can share it. Now, I commend her for sharing it with me because I had a very similar experience when I met who I met. And the way that I went about my situation, it was almost like she needed that little reminder.

Jojo (14:25.733)
And that's why I wanted to talk about this today, because I think I think we need the reminder that this stuff is possible, that once we start believing and living in that energy, we can truly call in what we want. And I've had these conversations with my girlfriends over the years where I'm like, What do you truly want? And we'll be sitting at lunch, we'll be sitting wherever. I'll just ask them. And I'm like, No, tell me. Speak it out loud. Journal it. Like, call it in. Because you really can.

And when you get clear on what you truly want, then you then you cut through all the BS of what's out there. And then you're like, wait a second, but that's not what I want. So I'm not gonna even waste my time there. And the more you hear it out loud, the more you speak it out loud, the more you write it down, the more you see it, the easier it is to find. Because you know, if I say a red car, I'm gonna f see red cars. I'm not looking for the yellow car. I'm looking for the red car. So it's a lot easier to get very, very clear on it. It's the same thing with a

With a person, with a with an energy, with a being, with love, with whatever. Get specific. So she got specific. My friends have gotten specific. And within guys, within almost like almost instantly, they meet the people. And they're in these like long-term relationships or they're getting married. Like it's crazy. But it's because they decided to get real with themselves, cut the BS, and be like, no, no, no, I'm gonna honor. I'm gonna honor what I truly want and stop settling.

for for less or what I think is out there or, you know, people I keep hearing people saying this city is like the worst to date in and people here are so, you know, it's just materialistic and but I hear it in every single place that I go and I travel quite a bit. So if I'm hearing that in every single place, it's not that every single place you can't meet your person. It's it's that our mentality needs to truly shift here. So let's get messy with this mentally, emotionally, spiritually, mentally.

What lie are you telling yourself that's blocking you from truly finding what you're looking for? And this can apply to a a job situation. It does not have to be a romantic relationship. It can be even just be like relationships in general, like the friendships, the people that you want to call in in your life emotionally. What emotions are you holding on to from the past? What people have you not closed a chapter with? What emotional weight are you carrying or baggage that you need to leave in the past? Because you don't want to be

Jojo (16:47.139)
Lying next to your husband one day and having your ex texting you, what do you need to cut? What do you need to leave? What do you need to bury? What do you need to deadbolt in order to move forward lighter, move forward with purpose, and move forward into the right connection so that you have this space for the right connection? And spiritually, can you trust? Can you have patience? Can you believe?

That when you start acting in accordance and in that vibration, that everything starts aligning. When you actually are living in the energy that you want to live in, that the people can find you there because that's where you are. This might go over some people's heads. This might not apply to everyone. It's not supposed to. But I know that this is coming up for a reason. I know that the conversations that I'm having, I'm having them for a reason. I know that that phone call.

Was a phone call for a reason. I didn't know what episode I was going to put out this week. And the phone call ended. I go, thank you. You just inspired it. We don't always know the direction we're going to go in. It's not always logical. It doesn't always make sense. If you're open, if you listen and see the signs of the universe, the energy around everything, and you start to really tap into that, magic starts to happen. Answers start to come. And you truly can.

manifest anything that you want. I'm a strong believer in it. I'm living in that energy every single day. I mean, if you would have told me six months ago that my life would look the way that it looks right now, I would have been like, yeah, but how? How? It's because I started living in that energy, that vibration. I started acting accordingly. I started making moves that aligned with the direction that I wanted to go. And then the right people, the right situations

the right apartment, the right location, everything fell into place. And that can happen. Homewise, financially, job, love, everything. Health. So I really want you guys to ponder that, hear this. And if there's anyone out there that you know could listen to this message and absorb it and it might hit them differently, please send it to them. And you guys know where to find me at underscore insideout dot podcast. Also on Substack. This is all in the show notes.

Jojo (19:08.11)
You guys have a beautiful week and I will see you in June. Have a great week, guys. Bye.