Stop Splitting Your Relationship 50/50: Two Rules From a 47 Year Marriage

What does it take to stay in love for 47 years? In this short and sweet episode, Jojo shares the relationship advice a store owner gave her, the two simple rules he swears by after nearly five decades of marriage, and why he says he falls more in love with his wife every single day.

Everyone talks about relationships, dating culture, and communication, but somewhere along the way we lost the plot on how to actually build a strong one. This conversation brought it all back to basics.

In this episode:

• The one number most couples get wrong about relationships
• A tiny mindset shift that stops fights before they start
• The popular relationship saying Jojo thinks we need to retire for good
• How to hear feedback from your partner without your ego taking the hit

Whether you're married, dating, or working on any relationship in your life, this under 10 minute episode gives you a mindset shift you can use today.

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Transcript

Jojo (00:07.214)
Welcome to the Inside Out Podcast. I'm your host Jojo and this is where we will navigate the mess together. That is mental, emotional, and spiritual. Let's get messy.

Jojo (00:26.478)
So this week I want to tell you little story. So I walked into a store with a girlfriend the other day, and this man started talking to me. He was the owner, and he told me two things, which is why he believes that he's been married to his wife for 47 years and he keeps falling in love with her more and more every single day. So I wanted to share this because I think it's a very simple mindset shift that we can all use just to kind of keep everything very

easy in our relationships. Now I know relationships are not easy, but what I'm saying is this really just clicked because there's so much out there with relationships and talking about dating and culture and all of these things where I kind of think that we're losing the plot a little bit when it comes to building really, really strong relationships. So these are the two things that he said that made me go, wow. I want to keep this episode really short, really sweet.

To the point because I know it's the middle of summer, you guys are on vacation, maybe you're getting ready to go back to school, you're revamping, you're switching things up. So I want to give you a very, very, very short episode. So let's get into it. He said the two things that he believes is keeping his relationship intact is, I'm gonna actually add a third.

This comes from just things that I've been seeing out there. You know that saying, Happy wife, happy life? No, no, no, no, no. I don't like it. Yes, of course, if your wife's happy, you're gonna have a happy life. But what about the other person in the relationship? If you're in a heteronormative relationship or hetero whatever you want to call it, relationship, what about the man? What if you're not with a wife? Do you know what I mean? It's like what is this saying? So

You guys have heard the saying before, I'm sure, but I want to instill it. Happy spouse, happy house. I mean, come on, you guys, like happy wife, happy life. What what is this? W no. Okay. Now for the two things that he said. This is so simple, but I don't think people think about it this way. People always say that relationships are fifty fifty.

Jojo (02:43.478)
Sometimes it's gonna be 90 10, sometimes it's gonna be 80 20. No, you guys, stop right there. Thank you. The relationship should always be 100 100. If both of you are pouring into the relationship equally, it's gonna be so much better. Why is it only 80 10? 80 20, I mean, 90 10, 50 50. What? No. So you're gonna wait for the other person to bring up the other? Give the relationship your all from the jump.

There's no like, they're gonna pull no no no. Put all of you into it. If you're with the right person, they're gonna pour back into you and it's gonna be that complete circuitry. That's what we're looking for after all, right? Like, so let's shift that mindset really quick. And then the other thing that this man said was always assume positive intent. Now you're probably like, what? Whenever his wife says anything to him.

Whether it's a critique or a comment or I don't feel this way or when you do XY, he doesn't see it as an attack. He sees it as a this person has my back. This person loves me. This person shows up for me. This person wants to take care of me. And in order for me to take care of her, I have to hear what she's saying and not have my ego bruised by it. I need to listen, knowing that she's not trying to hurt.

Hurt me by what she's saying. She's trying to build our relationship and therefore make us stronger. So when she says things, he hears it only in the positives. Now, of course, if they're being like, you suck, you're a bitch or whatever, like that's not very positive intent. And maybe that's a relationship that you should think twice about. But I'm saying like the little things because there's so much miscommunication that happens inside relationships where you're only

Communicating from your lens, your side of the street, how you perceive the world. So when you look at your partner or when you look at another person in your life, whether that's a friend, your mom, your brother, your par I don't know, not being redundant, but you get the point. If you look at them and you're like, they're not trying to hurt me, I mean, maybe there are people that are trying to hurt you, run. But if you really believe that these people aren't trying to hurt you,

Jojo (05:02.552)
Then maybe there's gonna be less strife, less conflict, because you're gonna start seeing these people as on your team with like the intent and that same purpose to like really help you move forward and be the best version of yourself. So if that's the way that you are hearing certain things and someone's coming to you and talking to you, or just being like open with whatever it is, if you just assume that they have good intent based on the human being that they are.

Everything's gonna be so much more simple. You guys, that's it. That's all I wanted to say this week. It's very, very simple. Hundred hundred, always good intent. Happy spouse, happy house. All right. You guys know where to find me at underscore insideout.podcast. I'm also on TikTok and Substack. Would love if you could take a beat. Think of three people. Whoever comes to mind, please share this episode with them. there's so much more episodes. We've had about 80 episodes.

in the in the catalog if you will. And I can't wait to see you next week. Have a great week guys. Bye.